Landrun 100: My Dark Tower

What a weird way to organize a blog post. What a weird sort of events to do. Why am I riding 100 miles again?

Each mile of those 105 miles took 5 minutes and some change. The whole ride took me 9 hours and 5 minutes. I was moving for 8 hours and 53 minutes. That is the least amount of time I have ever stopped for during a ride like this. No wonder it hurt so good.

4
Group Ride the Day Before.
5
Race Meeting

1-This pavement sure is nice. oooh! Stick to those wheels. I am really lucky to have found people who I enjoy riding next to during the starts of these events, there are so many freaking people.

2-Yup, I am wearing my helmet. All my stuff is attached. Bike hasn’t fallen apart yet.

3-Gravel. Gravel. Gravel. Good thing I went on the group ride the day before. It was a good reminder of what the gravel is like here.

4- Everything is pretty dang dry. and bumpy. Gosh darn.

5-I am really glad I like the start of races. The dudes I started with are gone, but I have to find my flow.

6-There is now less than 100 miles left. I think?

7-beep. boop. bop. ima biking robot.

8-This robot doesn’t need food yet…probably water.

9-Still isn’t any rains. Getting swampy in my rain jacket. Should I take it off?

10-YES. GET THIS OFF. TOO HOT.

11-EAT SNACKS. KEEP IT UP. woah. less yelling. I am feeling gooooooood.

12-pedal. pedal. pedal. Ride it like you stole it. Ain’t nothing gonna stop me now.

13-welp. been out here for like an hour. still no rain……

14-but now it’s slightly chillier. just a bit. does that mean it’s going to rain?

15-I want my jacket on again. It’s impossible to make up my mind most days. Purple coat is on my body again.

16-Ohh look a lady.

17-I want to ride with her.

18-Her name is Paulina? She is mega strong.

19-I can’t exactly remember when I rode with Paulina, just that I won’t forget her.

20-rain drops? hail? rain? wind? RAIN.

21-yup. Definitely rain.

22-The drops are big enough that I still think it’s hail.

23-Good-bye dusty dust.

24-Hello muddy mud.

25-Time for more snacks. Just two cheesey-peanut-butter-crackers. Add in some water. Good to go.

26-Add in more water from the sky. Not good to go.

27-Gross.

28-Mud.

29-It looks like tiki masala.

30-I wonder what mile I’m at?

31-Should I stop and check?

32-Will it make me wonder how far away the half way point is?

33-Let it go.

34-Happy is happy. Sad is sad. Unlearn.

35-Mad is fucking mad.

36-Did you steal this bike? SURE ARE RIDING IT LIKE YA DID.

37-Fuck your couch.

38-THE MUD HAS REACHED IT’S TRUE POTENTIAL.

39-It’s great. Good job mud.

40-I am feeling myself. seriously.

41-Pain feels good.

42-Hey look. It’s Allie. I think….At least it’s the back of some lady who I might know.

43-IT’S ALLIE. hi. it’s cold. why aren’t you wearing a rain jacket?

44-I’m not that cold. My fingers are just non-functioning, they don’t even hurt anymore. If nothing else my fingers never give me problems.

45-pedal. pedal. pedal. bikes. eat snacks. drink water. you should learn how to sew.

46-Right now is the perfect time to plan the next step of how to achieve world domination….right?

47-Is this single-track? I can’t remember where I am.

48-At least we don’t have to crawl into a dry creek bed.

49-The mud is making me ride sideways. This is funny.

50-Halfway point is nearly here. That checkpoint. I’m not really sure what mile I’m at or what mile the checkpoint is at….but it’s getting closer.

51-Guthrie. That’s a big grey cement building.

52-That actual checkpoint. Pretty sure this is where I found it. Mile 52? The guys with the Dirty Dog racing took care of me. Lubed my chain and offered me different gloves. There was no way I would be taking off my Defeet wool liners, they were never enough to begin with and I wasn’t going to get any better. Only 5 hours to go.

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53-Cabana club, what kind of sick joke is this. A joke that involves long horns, yell at them

54-I don’t even really remember what mile the Cabana club was at.

56-Was there a huge fire pit back there? It was somewhere in here and I skipped it because I wasn’t going to get any warmer than I was.

57-I want my music. Some pump me up. Some motivation.

58-Stopping to turn on my jams. My headphones are easy to find. My fingers are covered in mud. There is no way this is going to work. And here comes Allie.

59-Riding on with no jams and knowing I won’t get any jams the rest of the day.

60-Just a little bit sad. The mud is way annoying and trying to push me over.

61-Just keep riding it. You don’t need to shift. Easy and peaaaazy.

62-I have to pee.

63-My hands are mud. How will I go pee? My hands are just mud.

64-I’m never stopping.

65- This purple jacket rules.

66-Cause it keeps me dry and it matches everything.

67-The mud is making me want to cry.

68-ouch.

69-Everything hurts. Mud is everywhere. I have never been so muddy.

70-Am I moving forward?

71-Can I shift?

72-No.

73-Still no. NO.

74-Everything is OK. Is that jeep sliding sideways down that hill?

75-Everything isn’t moving.

76-STOP. eeeerrrrtrttttteteret. The rear der is no longer moving.

77-I hosed that little guy down with some water. rear ders get thirsty too.

78-And I didn’t rip it off. I pay attention to my little warbird. Not listening to music makes me listen to everything else.

79-I wonder what place I’m in. 1st? probs.

80-I am gonna ride like I am in 1st place.

81-crush crush crush. mash. mashed. mashed mud.

82-Hey. We can move a little better out here.

83-NOW I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO MUDDY. WHAT IN THE WORLD.

84-Can’t eat the foods, they are covered in mud. Chewing on this baggie of potato chips. Fingers can’t open bags.

85-Are there 15 miles left? Can I find that cue sheet?

86-Found it…melted to the inside of my gas tank.

87-Good thing I can’t figure out how many miles are left. Why is this road so wide?

88-Have I been here before? Where is the finish line? Are there any answers? What is life….

89-There is no food in my tummy.

90-THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS. YOU DON’T EAT ENOUGH. AND THEN 15 MILES FROM THE FINISH YOU FREAK OUT.

91-and usually find food, but you have to scarf it down and it’s a bad idea.

92-cheesey-peanut-buttery crackers. potato chips. water.

93-Am I done yet?

94-Now?

95-I no longer have fingers.

96-don’t even think about the toes, you can still feel them. it’s ok.

97-My shoes are wet.

98-My hat is wet.

99-ouch. ouch. ouch.

100-DON’T YOU EVEN LOOK AT YER GARMIN. IT’S FULL OF LIES.

101-Colin? OMG. The person who I rode with for 24+ hours at TransIowa. We finished that ride together, let’s finish this one too.

102-His bike is being lame. Not riding in with Colin would be wrong, bikes are slow.

103-DEAR SWEET PAVEMENT. FEELS SO GOOD. GONNA COAST ALL THE WAY HOME.

104-is this Kansas still? Oklahoma?

105-quiet.

8
End of Landrun: Hotel Selfie

Each mile is 5 minutes worth of thinking. There is more to this, sure. More facts and actual details. Actual places and times. This is how I remember the 2017 Landrun 100. These things will stick with me for a long time.

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2 thoughts on “Landrun 100: My Dark Tower

  1. “The mud has reached its true potential.” Great mile by mile summary… thoroughly entertaining! And so impressed by your off-the-bike time.

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